For those of you who survived last year’s screening of Halloween Tales from the ERP Crypt, we invite you to take another walk on the dark side of enterprise software and tell us which software support horror story you’ll be watching this fall. There are four contenders, and they should all scare the living daylights out of you.
In this film, despite being up close and personal with their attacker, our helpless victims can never identify who (or where) the real villain is. New dangers keep popping up, and just as escape seems possible, the route gets cut off. Their current consultant points fingers at consultant friends who left the group months or years ago, shirking responsibility for saving the project and getting out alive. Just like the string of consultants before him, he senses his days are numbered and is willing to ditch the team and make a fast get-away – after taking your money.
The werewolf has left London and strolled, unnoticed, into an already-implemented enterprise software environment. How could our victims know a bite had infected this creature long before it entered their building? But now, they must be on the lookout for the slightest sign that something may transform it. Full moons, for sure; those are easy to see coming. Otherwise, the randomness of events that set off the creature – and their horrific outcomes – have this community living in constant fear. Who will get pounced on while drinking their morning coffee or trying to close out the month’s numbers?
What’s worse than getting support budgets swallowed up by an emotionless Blob that slowly wears down victims until they succumb to the weight and inescapability of software vendor lock-in? Maybe nothing. The Blob on the phone or email has no answer, and the implementation is eating new victims every day. Survivors run to the other side of town only to find the Thing blocking their escape. Every time they call for help, they’re communicating with the Thing, and it mutates into support help desk personnel who each offer different explanations of the danger and how to defeat it.
Spoiler alert!!: The protagonist pulls out all his hair before making a daring, and potentially lethal, guess about how to corral the mutating mess and get everyone out.
It’s a lonely world when you’re surrounded by hidden insanity. Our victims couldn’t have known the antagonist software had underlying issues; everything seemed so normal during trials and demonstrations. Even the first few months post-implementation seemed fine. Then, during the long winter of living and working with it, inklings of danger appear – erratic behavior, twitches in the data. A call to support quickly reveals a longstanding, systemic sickness. Then, when our star is around crazy long enough, he becomes like them, reliving their past and carrying it into the present. Then, he blames the client for not listening to what only he could hear. The client has a tough decision to make: stay and try to overcome the craziness or grab an all-terrain vehicle and make a dash for normal people and systems.
There’s no drama or scariness when you use the professional support services from Sapphire; our support staff are qualified enterprise software individuals who have been in your shoes. Each has at least two years’ experience in either an end-user, consultant, or software support role and has been trained to listen before acting. We won’t send you on scary journeys to chase phantom problems, and we won’t ignore you when you tell us the monster is at your door.
To see how we’ve enabled numerous escapes from software death, visit our support page here.
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